Baby spew doesn’t always require reflux medications

In our office, two-month-old Max smiles ear to ear, naked except for a diaper and a bib. His worried mom asks me about the large amounts of spit up Max spews forth daily. “He spits up after every feeding. It seems like everything he eats just comes back up. It even comes out of his nose!” she says. Max gained the expected amount of weight, an average of one ounce per day, since his one-month check-up. He breastfeeds well and accepts an occasional bottle from his dad. Even after spitting up and drenching everything around him, he remains comfortable and cheerful. He is well hydrated, urinates often, and poops normally.

In short, Max is a “happy spitter” Other than creating piles of laundry, he acts like any healthy baby.

This sign now sits on my friend’s lawn. I still remember four years ago when I pulled my big blue minivan up in front of their house after the moving van left. A mommy sat on the stoop with her children. “How old are they? I hollered out. The ages of the children matched my children’s and I was delighted. Indeed they became good friends. And now, there’s the “For Sale” sign.

It’s  the end of the school year, and “For Sale” signs dot lawns all over the United States. Chances are, one of them belongs to your child’s friend. Just as the child who moves will have to adjust to a new environment, your child will have to adjust to a world without a friend who was part of his daily routine.

Much has been written about how to transition the child who moves into a new environment, but how can you help your child when his close friend moves away?

Your child may experience a sense of loss and feel that he was “left behind.” Some children perseverate over the new hole in their world. Others take the change in stride.

In the late 1960’s, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross described “the five stages of grief.” The stages were initially applied to people suffering from terminal illness, but later they were applied to any type of deep loss such as your child’s friend moving. The first stage is denial: “I don’t believe he moved.” Anger follows in the second stage: “Why me? That’s not fair!” Your child may then transition into the third stage and bargain: “If I’m good maybe he will hate it there and come back.” The fourth stage is sadness: “ I really miss my friend,” or, “Why make friends when they end up moving away?” The final stage is acceptance: “Everything is going to be okay. We will remain friends even if he doesn’t live here.”

Some pass through all stages quickly and some skip stages altogether. The process is personal and chastising your child to “just get over it” will not expedite the process. However, there are ways to smooth the journey:

· Reassure your child that feeling sad or angry is common. Parents need to know that sad children may not show obvious signs of sadness such as crying. Instead, rocky sleep patterns, alterations in eating, disinterest in activities or a drop in the quality of school work can be signs that a child feels sad. If feelings of depression in your child last more than a month or if your child shows a desire to hurt himself, consult your child’s health care provider.

· When you discuss the move with your child, keep in mind your child’s developmental stage. For instance, preschool children are concrete and tend to be okay with things being “out of sight, out of mind.” Talking endlessly about the move only conveys to the child that something is wrong. Children around third or fourth grade can take the move hard. They are old enough to feel loss, yet not old enough to understand that friendships can transcend distance. For teens, who are heavily influenced by their peers, a friend’s moving away can cause a great deal of disruption. Acknowledge the negative emotions and reassure your child that each day will get better. Reassure him that despite the distance, he is still friends with the child who moved.

· Prior to the move, don’t be surprised if arguments break out between the friends. Anger can be a self defense mechanism employed subconsciously to substitute for sadness.

· Set a reunion time. Plan a vacation with the family who moved or plan a trip to their new home.

· After the move, send a care package and write/ help write a letter with your child.

· Answer a question with a question when you are not sure what a child wants to know. For example if he asks,” Will we always be friends?” Counter with “What do you think will happen?”

· Share stories about how you coped with a best friend moving when you were a child.

Social media and texting can be ways for older kids to stay in touch with a friend who moves away. Be sure to monitor your child, however, because too much time texting, skyping, and posting takes away from time your child needs to spend acclimating to a new routine.

As for my children, when I told one of my kids that I will sign her up for soccer, she squealed with delight, “Oh, that’s the league Kelly belongs to.”

My heart sank. I said as gently as I could, “She’s moving- she won’t be here for soccer season.”

And so we begin the process…

Naline Lai, MD with Julie Kardos, MD
© 2010, rev 2015 Two Peds in a Pod®

Recently we’ve had a parade of itchy children troop through our office.  The culprit: poison ivy.

Myth buster: Fortunately, poison ivy is NOT contagious. You can catch poison ivy ONLY from the plant, not from another person.

Also, contrary to popular belief, you can not spread poison ivy on yourself through scratching.  However, where  the poison (oil) has touched  your skin, your skin can show a delayed reaction- sometimes up to two weeks later.  Different  areas of skin can react at different times, thus giving the illusion of a spreading rash.

Some home remedies for the itch :

• Hopping into the shower and rinsing off within fifteen minutes of exposure can curtail the reaction.  Warning, a bath immediately after exposure may cause the oils to simply swirl around the bathtub and touch new places on your child.
• Hydrocortisone 1%.  This is a mild topical steroid which decreases inflammation.  We suggest the ointment- more staying power and unlike the cream will not sting on open areas, use up to four times a day
• Calamine lotion – a.k.a. the pink stuff. This is an active ingredient in many of the combination creams.  Apply as many times as you like.
• Diphenhydramine (brand name Benadryl)- take orally up to every six hours. If this makes your child too sleepy, once a day Cetirizine (brand name Zyrtec) also has very good anti itch properties.
• Oatmeal baths – Crush oatmeal, place in old hosiery, tie it off and float in the bathtub- this will prevent oat meal from clogging up your bath tub. Alternatively buy the commercial ones (e.g. Aveeno)
• Do not use alcohol or bleach– these items will irritate the rash more than help

The biggest worry with poison ivy rashes is not the itch, but the chance of infection.  With each scratch, your child is possibly introducing  infection into an open wound.  Unfortunately, it is sometimes difficult to tell the difference between an allergic reaction to poison ivy and an infection.  Both are red, both can be warm, both can be swollen.  However, infections cause pain – if there is pain associated with a poison ivy rash, think infection.  Allergic reactions cause itchiness– if there is itchiness associated with a rash, think allergic reaction.  Because it usually takes time for an infection to “settle in,” an infection will not occur immediately after an exposure.  Infection usually occurs on the 2nd or 3rd days.  If you have any concerns take your child to her doctor.

Generally, any poison ivy rash which is in the area of the eye or genitals (difficult to apply topical remedies), appears infected, or is just plain making your child miserable needs medical attention.

When all else fails, comfort yourself with this statistic: up to 85% of people are allergic to poison ivy.  If misery loves company, your child certainly has company.

Naline Lai, MD and Julie Kardos, MD

©2015 Two Peds in a Pod®, updated from 2012

Gepetto always said his son had allergies, but the villagers knew better

Recently, Dr. Lai was so excited to see Flonase in the local pharmacy that she texted all of the providers in our practice with the news. Flonase (fluticasone),  a nose spray allergy treatment, is the  latest allergy medication to go over-the-counter. Now, nearly every allergy medication that we wrote prescriptions for a decade ago is now available to kids over-the-counter.

As you and your child peer around the pharmacy through itchy blurry eyes, the  displays for allergy medications can be overwhelming. Should you chose the medication whose ads feature a bubbly seven-year-old girl kicking a soccer ball in a field of grass, or the medication whose ads feature a bubbly ten-year-old boy roller blading? Its it better to buy a “fast” acting medication or medication that promises your child “relief?”

A guide to sorting out your medication choices:

Oral antihistamines: Oral antihistamines differ mostly by how long they last, how well they help itchiness, and their side effect profile. During an allergic reaction, antihistamines block one of the agents responsible for producing swelling and secretions in your child’s body, called histamine. Prescription antihistamines are not necessarily “stronger.” In fact, at this point there are very few prescription antihistamines. The “best” choice is the one that alleviates your child’s symptoms the best. As a good first choice, if another family member has had success with one antihistamine, then genetics suggest that your child may respond as well to the same medicine. Be sure to check the label for age range and proper dosing.

• First generation antihistamines work well at drying up nasal secretions and stopping itchiness but don’t tend to last as long and often make kids very sleepy:
  Diphenhydramine (brand name Benadryl) is the best known medicine in this category. It lasts only about six hours and can make people so tired that it is the main ingredient for many over-the-counter adult sleep aids. Occasionally, kids become “hyper” and are unable to sleep after taking this medicine. Opinion from Dr. Lai: dye-free formulations of diphenhydramine are poor tasting. Other first generation antihistamines include Brompheniramine (eg. brand names Bromfed and Dimetapp) and Clemastine (eg. brand name Tavist).
• The newer second and third generation antihistamines cause less sedation and are conveniently dosed only once a day:
  Cetirizine (eg. brand Zyrtec) causes less sleepiness and it helps itching fairly well. Give the dose to your child at bedtime to further decrease the chance of sleepiness during the day. Loratadine (brand name Alavert, Claritin) causes less sleepiness than cetirizine. Fexofenadine (brand name Allegra) causes the least amount of sedation. The liquid formulations in this category tend to be rather sticky, the chewables and dissolvables are favorites among kids. For older children, the pills are a reasonable size for easy swallowing.

Allergy eye drops: Your choices for over-the-counter antihistamine drops include ketotifen fumarate (eg. Zatidor and Alaway). For eyes, drops tend to work better than oral medication. Avoid products that contain vasoconstrictors (look on the label or ask the pharmacist) because these can cause rebound redness after 2-3 days and do not treat the actual cause of the allergy symptoms. Contact lenses can be worn with some allergy eye drops- check the package insert, and avoid wearing contacts when the eyes look red.

Allergy nose sprays: Simple nasal saline helps flush out allergens and relieves nasal congestion from allergies. As we mentioned above, Flonase, which used to be available by prescription only, is a steroid allergy nose spray that is quite effective at eliminating symptoms. It takes about a week until your child will notice the benefits of this medicine. Even though this medicine is over-the-counter, check with your child’s pediatrician if you find that your child needs to continue with this spray for more than one allergy season of the year. Day in and day out use can lead to thinning of the nasal septum. Avoid the use of nasal decongestants (e.g., Afrin, Neo-Synephrine) for more than 2-3 days because a rebound runny nose called rhinitis medicamentosa may occur.

Oral Decongestants such as phenylephrine or pseudoephedrine can help decrease nasal stuffiness. This is the “D” in “Claritin D” or “Allegra D.” However, their use is not recommended in children under age 6 years because of potential side effects such as rapid heart rate, increased blood pressure, and sleep disturbances.

Some of the above mentioned medicines can be taken together and some cannot. Read labels carefully for the active ingredient. Do not give more than one oral antihistamine at a time. In contrast, most antihistamine eye drops and nose sprays can be given together along with an oral antihistamine.

If you are still lost, call your child’s pediatrician to  tailor an allergy plan specific to her needs.

The best medication? Get the irritating pollen off your child. Have your allergic child wash her hands and face as soon as she comes in from playing outside so she does not rub pollen into her eyes and nose. Rinse  outdoor particles off your child’s body with nightly showers. Filter the air when driving in the car and at home by running the air conditioner and closing the windows to prevent the “great” outdoors from entering your child’s nose.

Naline Lai MD and Julie Kardos, MD
© 2015 Two Peds in a Pod®

It is never easy to break bad news, and it can be especially difficult to break bad news to our children. Bereavement counselor Amy Keiper-Shaw helps parents give advice on how to talk to your children if  someone they love is dying.

While we all try to live our best and happiest lives, one day, something bad will invariably happen to us and/or our families. Maybe a grandparent or a pet is so ill they have been told they are going to die, or a family member has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Are you and your child prepared to communicate effectively during these tough times?  Here are some suggestions to help you talk to your child when death is a possibility.

“One must talk little and listen much.”—African proverb

• First, try to distinguish your emotions about the news from what to tell your kids. It’s always harder to talk about bad news when it’s an emotional issue for you.  Allow yourself to “sit with” the feelings you have about it before sharing it with a child.  Try to be calm—even if the news is upsetting to you. If you’re overly emotional, your child may feel like he or she needs to take care of you instead of having his or her own reaction.

• Mentally rehearse how you will deliver the news. You may wish to practice out loud, as you would prepare for public speaking. Script specific words and phrases to use or avoid. Be open and prepared for your kids’ reactions. Some may cry. Others may get angry. Some may not seem to react at all. Don’t read too much into your child’s initial reaction. For some kids, it takes a while for the news to sink in.

• Arrange to talk to the child in a private, comfortable location. For example, have your child sit on your lap, or talk to your child on his or her bed. Having your child’s favorite comfort item available (a blanket, a stuffed animal or favorite toy) can also help.  Turn off your cell phone, TV, or other background distractions.

• Long before we realize it, children become aware of death and when bad news is approaching.  It may be tempting to withhold bad news. It’s important to be honest with your kids and not to be afraid of their reactions. When we aren’t honest about what is going on, children make up their own explanation for the tense environment.  What they imagine is often worse than the truth.  Foreshadow the bad news, “I’m sorry, but I have bad news.”

• When you meet with the child ask what they already know and understand. Be prepared to provide basic information about prognosis and treatment options if there are any available.  Give information according to your child’s age. Younger children will require less information than older teenagers.

• Speak frankly but compassionately. Avoid euphemisms and medical jargon. Use the words cancer or death rather than “going to sleep” or giving false hope.  Offer realistic hope. Even if a cure is not realistic, offer hope and encouragement about what options are available such as hospice or medications which will help the person or pet have the best quality of life as possible until they die.

• Have the child tell you his or her understanding of what you have said, use repetition and corrections as needed. Encourage them to ask questions if they have any now or in the future and be sure to follow up often to see if any new questions have arose.

• Allow silence and tears, and avoid the urge to talk to overcome your own discomfort. Proceed at the child’s pace. Be empathetic; it is appropriate to say “I’m sorry” or “I don’t know.”

• Talk about what the bad news means for them personally. Be as clear as possible about how the bad news will make their life change—or not change. “Mom won’t be able to take you to school anymore so our neighbor will bring you instead.”  Older kids will want to know more details about this than younger kids.

• Reassure your kids. When bad things happen, they need to hear that you love them and that you’re there for them. If you’re uncertain how long you can be there for your children (such as when you receive a terminal prognosis), make sure they know of other caring, trusted adults who will also be there for them.

• Don’t be surprised if your child tries to blame you or someone else for the bad news. It’s hard for children and teens to understand that sometimes bad things just happen.

• Do something special with your child. You can say that when bad things happen, it often helps to do something you enjoy to try to feel better. For example, ask your child what he or she would like to do with you. Maybe your child will want to go the playground or play a board game.  It is important that children know it is okay to still want to have fun and to enjoy life.  They should not feel guilty about wanting to be happy.

• Model the grief process.  It helps children and teens to see that there are hard times and that people can get through these tough situations by making positive coping choices. For example, even if you don’t feel like exercising, you notice that exercise helps you feel a bit better. Explain that even though you may be tempted to eat badly, you notice that you feel better when you eat healthy. Talking about the ups and downs (while modeling positive coping strategies) will help your child be more intentional about the choices he or she makes and they are grieving.

• Keep in mind, although older teenagers may seem like they can take on more hardship than younger kids, remember that they still don’t have the life experience that you have. Hearing bad news can be extremely difficult on a teenager, and it can sometimes trigger risky behaviors, particularly if they were struggling before the bad news hit or they’re feeling extremely vulnerable.

• Talk to other significant adults in your child’s life. For example, talk to your child’s teacher, coach, or club leader. Sometimes a child will talk to another adult, and it helps if everyone knows the same information.

Parents, remember this:

• Attend to your own needs during and following the delivery of bad news.  Find a few people who are good listeners and can help with practical things such as taking kids to after school activities.

• Allow yourself to accept help.

It can be challenging to be the bearer of bad news, but keep in mind that there are others who can assist with this.  Asking for help from a social worker, counselor, a trusted friend, or spiritual adviser can help to facilitate this conversation, as well as connect families to resources in the community.

Amy Keiper-Shaw, LCSW

©2015 Two Peds in a Pod®

Amy Keiper-Shaw is a licensed grief counselor who holds a Masters Degree in clinical social work from the University of Pennsylvania. For over a decade she has served as a bereavement counselor to a hospice program and facilitates a bereavement camp for children. She directs Handsholdinghearts.com, a resource  for children who have experienced a significant death in their lives.

Let’s face it, it’s hard to move when it’s cold , and it’s freezing at my home.  I believe today’s high is 20 degrees Fahrenheit.  Now while this may not deter younger children from bundling up and going sledding, teen couch potatoes are busy whining that it’s “too cold.”  So there they sit.

What’s the secret to keeping them active in the winter months?  Have them schedule an activity, and be an example yourself.

Ideas for teens (and you) to do when it’s cold outside:

• Have a 15-minute dance party
• Have a Wii contest
• Try swimming (indoors please!)
• Dust off the treadmill or stationary bike in the basement and GET ON IT
• Play ping-pong
• Do a few chores
• Jump rope
• Jog during T.V. commercials
• Pull out some “little kid games” such as hopscotch, hula-hoop or Twister
• Let each child in your house choose an activity for everyone to try

Teens, like everyone else, need exercise to stay healthy.  Staff from the Mayo Clinic recommend kids ages 6-17 years should have one hour of moderate exercise each day.  Exercise can help improve mood (through the release of endorphins), improve sleep and therefore attention (critical with finals coming up), and improve cardiovascular endurance. Those spring sports really ARE just around the corner.

Here are some numbers to get the kids moving:  All activities are based on 20 minutes and a teen who weighs 110 pounds.  The number of calories burned depends on weight.  If your teen weighs more, he will burn a few more calories, if he weighs less, he’ll burn a few less.  Below the table are links to some free and quick calorie calculators on the web so your teen can check it out for him self.  For those attached to their phones, there are web apps too.

What’s the worst that can happen?  You’ll have a more fit, better rested, and happier teen!  Or at least you’ll have a cleaner home!

Try these activity calculators:

http://primusweb.com/fitnesspartner/calculat.htm

www.caloriesperhour.com/index_burn.php

http://www.caloriecontrol.org/healthy-weight-tool-kit/lighten-up-and-get-moving

Deborah Stack, PT, DPT, PCS

With nearly 20 years of experience as a physical therapist, guest blogger Dr. Stack heads The Pediatric Therapy Center of Bucks County in Pennsylvania www.buckscountypeds.com. She holds both masters and doctoral degrees in physical therapy from Thomas Jefferson University.

© 2011, 2013, updated 2015 Two Peds in a Pod®

Does your kid spit out all medicine? Clamp her jaws shut at the sight of the antibiotic bottle? Refuse to take pain medicine when she clearly has a bad headache or sore throat?

Sometimes medicine is optional but sometimes it’s not. Here are some ways to help the medicine go down:

Don’t make a fuss. We mean PARENTS: don’t make a fuss. Stay calm. Explain that you are giving your child medicine for … fill in the blank… reason, calmly give her the pill to swallow or the medicine cup or syringe filled and have her suck it down, then offer water to drink. If you make a BIG DEAL or warn about the taste or try to hurry your child along, she may become suspicious,  stubborn or flustered herself. Calmness begets calm.

What if she hates the taste?

• Most medication can be given with a little chocolate syrup or applesauce (yes, Mary Poppins had the right idea). Check with your child’s pharmacist if your child’s particular prescription can be given this way.
• Often, your pharmacist can add flavor to your child’s prescription.
• Check if your child’s medicine comes in pill form so she doesn’t have to taste it at all.
• Try “chasing” the medicine down with chocolate milk instead of water to wash away a bad taste quicker.
• Use a syringe (no needle of course) to slowly put tiny bits of liquid medicine in the pocket between her outer teeth and her cheek. Sooner or later she will swallow. After all, she swallows her own saliva. ( A factoid: an adult swallows up to 1.5 liters of saliva a day.)

DON’T MIX the medication in a full bottle of liquid if you are administering medication to a baby. There is a good chance that the baby will not finish the bottle and therefore the baby will not finish the medication. Also, some medications will no longer work if they are dissolved in a liquid.

WHAT IF SHE THROWS UP THE MEDICATION? Call your child’s doctor, if the medication was not in the stomach for more than 15 minutes, we will often not count it as a dose and may instruct you give another dose.

WHAT IF SHE CAN’T SWALLOW PILLS?  If your child can swallow food, she can swallow a pill.  Dense liquids such as milk carry pills down the food pipe more smoothly than water. Start with swallowing a grain of rice or a tic-tac. For many kids, it is hard to shake the sequence of biting then swallowing. Face it. You spent a lot of time when she was toddler hovering over her as she stuffed Cheerios in her mouth, muttering “bite-chew-chew-swallow.” Now that you want her to swallow in one gulp, she is balking. Luckily, most medication in pills, although bitter tasting, will still work if you tell your child to take one quick bite and then swallow. The exception is a capsule. The gnashing of little teeth will deactivate the  microbeads in a capsule release system. If you are not sure, ask your pharmacist.  For more ideas, read our prior post on How to swallow pills.

WHAT IF ALL ATTEMPTS AT ORAL MEDICINE FAIL? Talk to your child’s doctor. Some liquid antibiotics come in shot form and your pediatrician can inject the medicine (such as penicillin), and some come in suppository form; Tylenol (generic name acetaminophen) is an example. You can buy rectal Tylenol if sore throat pain or mouth sores prevent swallowing or if your child simply is stubborn. Sometimes you just have to have one adult hold the child and another to pry open her mouth, insert medicine, then close her mouth again.
HAVE AN EAR DROP HATER? First walk around with the bottle in your pocket to warm the drops up. Cold drops in an ear are very annoying. (In fact, if cold liquid is poured into the ear a reflex occurs that causes the eyes beat rapidly back and forth). Use distraction. Turn on a movie or age-appropriate TV show, have your child lie down on the couch on her side with the affected ear facing up. Pull the outside of her ear up and outward to make the ear opening more accessible, then insert the drops and let her stay lying down watching her show for about 10 minutes. If you need to treat both ears, have her flip to the other side of the couch, affected ear up, and repeat. Another option: treat your child while she sleeps.

AFRAID OF EYE DROPS? If your child is like Dr. Kardos who is STILL eye-drop phobic as a grown-up, try one of two ways to instill eye drops. Have your child lie down, have one person distract and cause your child to look to one side, insert the drop into the side of the eye that your child is looking AWAY from. She will blink and distribute the medicine throughout the eye.
ALTERNATIVELY, have your child close her eyes and turn her head slightly TOWARD the eye you need to treat. Instill 2 drops, rather than one, into the corner of her eye nearest her nose. Then have her open her eyes and turn her head slowly back to midline: the drops should drop right into her eye. Repeat for the second eye if needed.

HATE CREAM? Some kids need medicated cream applied to various skin conditions. And some kids hate the feeling of goop on their skin. These are often the same kids who hate sunscreen. Again, distraction can help. Take a hairbrush and “brush” the opposite arm or some other area of the body far away from the area that needs the cream. Alternatively, apply the cream during sleep. Another option- let your child apply his own cream- this gives back a feeling of control which can lead to better compliance with medicine. It also will help him to feel better faster. IF your child is complaining about stinging, try an ointment instead. Ointments tend to sting less than creams.

Of course, as last resort, you can always explain to your child in a logical, systematic fashion the mechanism of action of the medication and the future implications on your child’s health outcome.

If you choose this last method, you should probably have some Hershey’s syrup nearby. Just in case.

Julie Kardos, MD and Naline Lai, MD
©2014 Two Peds in a Pod®

In spite of long TSA lines, rental car challenges and all the howling, the wolf family went to grandmother’s house every year for the holidays.

You don’t appreciate how much your baby has grown until you attempt a diaper change on a plane. For families with young children, Thanksgiving or any holiday can become stressful when travel is involved. Often families travel great distances to be together and attend parties that run later than children’s usual bedtime. Fancy food and fancy dress are common. Well-meaning relatives who see your children once a year can be too quick to hug and kiss, sending even not-so-shy kids running. Here are some tips for safer and smoother holiday travel:
If you are flying:

• Do not offer Benadryl (diphenhydramine) as a way of “insuring” sleep during a flight. Kids can have paradoxical reactions and become hyper instead of sleepy, and even if they do become sleepy, the added stimulation of flying can combine to produce an ornery, sleepy, tantrum-prone kid. Usually the drone of the plane is enough to sooth kids into a slumber.
• Not all kids develop ear pain on planes as they descend- some sleep right through landing. However, if needed you can offer pacifiers, bottles, drinks, or healthy snacks during take-off and landing because swallowing may help prevent pressure buildup and thus discomfort in the ears. And yes, it is okay to fly with an ear infection.

General tips for visiting:

• Traveling 400 miles away from home to spend a few days with close family and/or friends is not the time to solve your child’s chronic problems. Let’s say you have a child who is a poor sleeper and tries to climb into your bed every night at home. Knowing that even the best of sleepers often have difficulty sleeping in a new environment, just take your “bad sleeper” into your bed at bedtime and avoid your usual home routine of waking up every hour to walk her back into her room. Similarly, if you have a picky eater, pack her favorite portable meal as a backup for fancy dinners. But when you return home, please refer to our podcast and blog posts on helping your child to establish good sleep habits and on feeding picky eaters! One exception is when you are trying to say bye-bye to the binkie or pacifier.
• Supervise your child’s eating and do not allow your child to overeat while you catch up with a distant relative or friend. Ginger-bread house vomit is DISGUSTING, as Dr. Kardos found out first-hand when one of her children ate too much of the beautiful and very generously-sized ginger bread house for dessert.
• Speaking of food, a good idea is to give your children a wholesome, healthy meal at home, or at your “home base,” before going to a holiday party that will be filled with food that will be foreign to your children. Hunger fuels tantrums so make sure his appetite needs are met. Then, you also won’t feel guilty letting him eat sweets at a party because he already ate healthy foods earlier in the day.
• If you have a young baby, be careful not to put yourself in a situation where you lose control of your ability to protect the baby from germs. Well-meaning family members love passing infants from person to person, smothering them with kisses along the way. Unfortunately, nose-to-nose kisses may spread cold and flu viruses along with holiday cheer.
• On the flip side, there are some family events, such as having your 95-year-old great-grandfather meet your baby for the first time, that are once-in-a-lifetime. So while you should be cautious on behalf of your child, ultimately, heed your heart. At six weeks old, Dr. Lai’s baby traveled several hours to see her grandfather in a hospital after he had a heart attack. She likes to think it made her father in law’s recovery go more smoothly.
• If you have a shy child, try to arrive early to the family gathering. This avoids the situation of walking into house full of unfamiliar relatives or friends who can overwhelm him with their enthusiasm. Together, you and your shy child can explore the house, locate the toys, find the bathrooms, and become familiar with the party hosts. Then your child can become a greeter, or can simply play alone first before you introduce him to guests as they arrive. If possible, spend time in the days before the gathering sharing family photos and stories to familiarize your child with relatives or friends he may not see often.
• Sometimes you have to remember that once you have children, their needs come before yours. Although you eagerly anticipated a holiday reunion, your child may be too young to appreciate it for more than a couple of hours . An ill, overtired child makes everyone miserable. If your child has an illness, is tired, won’t use the unfamiliar bathroom, has eaten too many cookies and has a belly ache, or is in general crying, clingy, and miserable, despite your best efforts, just leave the party. You can console yourself that when your child is older his actions at that gathering will be the impetus for family legends, or at least will make for a funny story.
• Enjoy your CHILD’s perspective of Thanksgiving and other winter holidays: enjoy his pride in learning new customs, his enthusiasm for opening gifts, his joy in playing with cousins he seldom sees, his excitement in reading holiday books, and his happiness as he spends extra time with you, his parents.

We wish you all the best this Thanksgiving!

Julie Kardos, MD and Naline Lai, MD

©2014 Two Peds in a Pod®
Updated from our 2009 articles on these topics

It’s gift-giving season! Now that your families are another year older, it’s time to update our sometimes-you-just-want-to-buy-something holiday gift idea list arranged by ages and developmental stages.

0-3 months: Babies this age have perfect hearing and enjoy looking at faces and objects with contrasting colors. Music, mobiles, and bright posters are some age appropriate gift ideas. Infants self-soothe themselves through sucking- if you can figure out what your nephew’s favorite type of binkie is, wrap up a bunch-they are expensive and often mysteriously disappear.

3-6 months: Babies start to reach and grab at objects. They enjoy things big enough to hold onto and safe enough to put in their mouths- try bright colored teething rings and large plastic “keys.” New cloth and vinyl books will likewise be appreciated; gnawed books don’t make great hand-me-downs.

6-12 months: Around six months, babies begin to sit alone or sit propped. Intellectually, they begin to understand “cause and effect.” Good choices of gifts include toys with large buttons that make things happen with light pressure. Toys which make sounds, play music, or cause Elmo to pop up will be a hit. For a nine-month-old old just starting to pull herself up to a standing position, a water or sand table will provide hours of entertainment in the upcoming year. Right now you can bring winter inside if you fill the water table with a mound of snow. Buy some inexpensive measuring cups and later in the summer your toddler will enjoy standing outside splashing in the water.

12-18 months: This is the age kids learn to stand and walk. They enjoy things they can push while walking such as shopping carts or plastic lawn mowers. Include gifts which promote joint attention. Joint attention is the kind of attention a child shares with you during moments of mutual discovery. Joint attention starts at two months of age when you smile at your baby and your baby smiles back. Later, around 18 months, if you point at a dog in a book, she will look at the dog then look back at you and smile. Your child not only shows interest in the same object, but she acknowledges that you are both interested. Joint attention is thought to be important for social and emotional growth.

At 12 months your baby no longer needs to suck from a bottle or the breast for hydration. Although we don’t believe mastery of a  sippy cups is a necessary developmental milestone , Dr. Lai does admire the WOW cup because  your child can drink from it like she does from a regular cup. Alternatively, you can give fun, colored actual traditional plastic cups, which difficult to break and encourage drinking from a real cup!

18-24 months: Although kids this age cannot pedal yet, they enjoy riding on toys such as “big wheels” “Fred Flintstone” style. Dexterous enough to drink out of a cup and use a spoon and fork, toddlers can always use another place setting. Toddlers are also able to manipulate shape sorters and toys where they put a plastic ball into the top and the ball goes down a short maze/slide. They also love containers to collect things, dump out, then collect again.

Yes, older toddlers are also dexterous enough to swipe an ipad, but be aware, electronics can be a double edged sword— the same device which plays karaoke music for your daddy-toddler sing-along can be transformed into a substitute parent. The other day, a toddler was frighted of my stethoscope in the office. Instead of smiling and demonstrating to her toddler how a stethoscope does not hurt, the mother repeatedly tried to give her toddler her phone and told the child to watch a video. Fast forward a few years, and the mother will wonder why her kid fixates on her phone and does not look up at the family at the dinner table. Don’t train an addiction.

2-3 years: To encourage motor skills, offer tricycles, balls, bubbles, and boxes to crawl into and out of. Choose crayons over markers because crayons require a child to exert pressure and therefore develop hand strength. Dolls, cars, and sand boxes all foster imagination. Don’t forget those indestructible board books so kids can “read” to themselves. By now, the plastic squirting fish bath toys you bought your nephew when he was one are probably squirting out black specks of mold instead of water- get him a new set. Looking ahead, in the spring a three- year-old may start participating in team sports (although they often go the wrong way down the field) or in other classes such as dance or swimming lessons. Give your relatives the gift of a shin guards and soccer ball with a shirt. Offer to pay for swim lessons and package a gift certificate with a pair of goggles.  

3-4 years: Now kids engage in elaborate imaginary play. They enjoy “dress up” clothes to create characters- super heroes, dancers, wizards, princesses, kings, queens, animals. Kids also enjoy props for their pretend play, such as plastic kitchen gadgets, magic wands, and building blocks. They become adept at pedaling tricycles or even riding small training-wheeled bikes. Other gift ideas include crayons, paint, markers, Play-doh®, or side-walk chalk. Children this age understand rules and turn-taking and can be taught simple card games such as “go fish,” “war,” and “matching.” Three-year-olds recognize colors but can’t read- so they can finally play the classic board game Candyland®, and they can rote count in order to play the sequential numbers game Chutes and Ladders®.  Preschool kids now understand and execute the process of washing their hands independently… one problem… they can’t reach the faucets on the sink. A personalized, sturdy step stool will be appreciated for years. 

5-year-olds: Since 5-year-olds can hop on one foot, games like Twister® will be fun. Kids this age start to understand time. In our world of digital clocks, get your nephew an analog clock with numbers and a minute hand… they are hard to come by. Five-year-olds also begin to understand charts— a calendar will also cause delight. They can also work jigsaw puzzles with somewhat large pieces.

8-year-olds: Kids at this point should be able to perform self help skills such as teeth brushing. Help them out with stocking stuffers such as toothbrushes with timers. They also start to understand the value of money (here is one way to teach kids about money). The kids will appreciate gifts such as a wallet or piggy bank. Eight-year-olds engage in rough and tumble play and can play outdoor games with rules. Think balls, balls, balls- soccer balls, kickballs, baseballs, tennis balls, footballs. Basic sports equipment of any sort will be a hit. Label makers will also appeal to this age group since they start to have a greater sense of ownership.

10-year-olds: Fine motor skills are quite developed and intricate arts and crafts such as weaving kits can be manipulated. Give a “cake making set” (no, not the plastic oven with a light bulb) with tubes of frosting and cake mix to bake over the winter break. Buy two plastic recorders, one for you and one for your child, to play duets. The instrument is simple enough for ten-year-olds or forty-year-olds to learn on their own. Ten-year-olds value organization in their world and want to be more independent. Therefore, a watch makes a good gift at this age. And don’t forget about books: reading skills are more advanced at this age. They can read chapter books or books about subjects of interest to them. In particular, kids at this age love a good joke or riddle book.

Tweens: Your child now has a longer attention span (30-40 minutes) so building projects such as K’nex® models will be of interest to her. She can now also understand directions for performing magic tricks or making animal balloons. This is a time when group identity becomes more important. Sleepovers and scouting trips are common at this age so sleeping bags and camping tents make great gifts. Tweens value their privacy – consider a present of a journal with a lock or a doorbell for her room.

Teens: If you look at factors which build a teen into a resilient adult, you will see that adult involvement in a child’s life is important. http://www.search-institute.org/research/developmental-assets

We know parents who jokingly say they renamed their teens “Door 1” and “Door 2,” since they spend more time talking to their kids’ bedroom doors than their kids. Create opportunities for one-on-one interaction by giving gifts such as a day of shopping with her aunt, tickets to a show with her uncle, or two hours at the rock climbing gym with dad.

Encourage physical activity. Sports equipment is always pricey for a teen to purchase- give the fancy sports bag he’s been eying or give a gym membership. A running watch is always appreciated or treat them to moisture wicking work-out clothes or a gift card to a sports equipment store.

Sleep! Who doesn’t need it, and teens often short change themselves on sleep and fall into poor sleep habits.  Help a teen enjoy a comfortable night of rest and buy  luxurious high thread count pillow cases, foam memory pillows, or even a new mattress. After all,  it been nearly 20 years since you bought your teen a  mattress and he probably wasn’t old enough at the time to tell you if he was comfortable. Since a teen often goes to bed later than you do, a remote light control will be appreciated by all.

Enjoy your holiday shopping!

Naline Lai, MD and Julie Kardos, MD
©2014 Two Peds in a Pod®

Modified from our original November 2012 post

As we said to Robin Young on NPR’s Here and Now, “a lot of life’s issues all boil down to the essentials of life…eat, sleep, drink, pee, poop and love.” Continuing our ideas and updates on all of those baby essentials, here’s the scoop on poop :

Okay, admit it.

Before you became a parent, you never really gave much thought to poop.

Now you are captivated and can even discuss it over meal time: your child’s poop with its changing colors and consistency. Your vocabulary for poop has likely also changed as you are now parents. Before your baby’s birth, you probably used some grown-up word like “bowel movement” or “stool” or perhaps some “R” rated term not appropriate to this pediatric site. But now, all that has changed.

As pediatricians, we have many conversations with new parents, and some not-so-new parents, about poop. Mostly this topic is of real interest to parents with newborns, but poop issues come out at other milestones in a child’s life, namely starting solid foods and potty training. So we present to you the scoop on poop.

Poop comes in three basic colors that are all equal signs of normal health: brown, yellow, and green. Newborn poop, while typically yellow and mustard like, can occasionally come out in the two other colors, even if what goes in, namely breast milk or formula, stays the same. The color change is more a reflection of how long the milk takes to pass through the intestines and how much bile acid gets mixed in with the developing poop.

Bad colors of poop are: red (blood), white (complete absence of color), and tarry black. Only the first poop that babies pass on the first day of life, called meconium, is always tarry black and is normal. At any other time of life, black tarry stools are abnormal and are a sign of potential internal bleeding and should always be discussed with your child’s health care provider, as should blood in poop (also not normal) and white poop (which could indicate a liver problem).

Normal pooping behavior for a newborn can be grunting, turning red, crying, and generally appearing as if an explosion is about to occur. As long as what comes out after all this effort is a soft poop (and normal poop should always be soft), then this behavior is normal. Other babies poop effortlessly and this, too, is normal.

Besides its color, another topic of intense fascination to many parents is the frequency and consistency of poop. This aspect is often tied in with questions about diarrhea and constipation. Here is the scoop:

It is normal for newborns to poop during or after every feeding, although not all babies poop this often. This means that if your baby feeds 8-12 times a day, then she can have 8-12 poops a day. One reason that newborns are seen every few weeks in the pediatric office is to check that they are gaining weight normally: that calories taken in are enough for growth and are not just being pooped out. While normal poop can be very soft and mushy, diarrhea is watery and prevents normal weight gain.

After the first few weeks of life, a change in pooping frequency can occur. Some formula fed babies will continue their frequent pooping while others decrease to once a day or even once every 2-3 days. Some breastfed babies actually decrease their poop frequency to once a week! It turns out that breast milk can be very efficiently digested with little waste product. Again, as long as these babies are feeding well, not vomiting, acting well, have soft bellies rather than hard, distended bellies, and are growing normally, then you as parents can enjoy the less frequent diaper changes. Urine frequency should remain the same (at least 6 wet diapers every 24 hours, on average) and is a sign that your baby is adequately hydrated. Again, as long as what comes out in the end is soft, then your baby is not “constipated” but rather has “decreased poop frequency.”

True constipation is poop that is hard and comes out as either small hard pellets or a large hard poop mass. These poops are often painful to pass and can even cause small tears in the anus. You should discuss true constipation with your child’s health care provider. A typical remedy, assuming that everything else about your baby is normal, is adding a bit of prune or apple juice, generally ½ to 1 ounce, to the formula bottle once or twice daily. True constipation in general is more common in formula fed babies than breastfed babies.

Adding solid foods generally causes poop to become more firm or formed, but not always. It DOES always cause more odor and can also add color to poop. Dr. Kardos still remembers her surprise over her eldest’s first “sweet potato poop” as she and her husband asked each other, “Will you look at that? Isn’t this exactly how it looked when it went IN?” If constipation, again meaning hard poop that is painful to pass, occurs during solid food introductions, you can usually help by giving more prunes and oatmeal and less rice and bananas to help poop become softer and easier to pass.

Potty training can trigger constipation resulting from poop withholding. This poop withholding can result in backup of poop in the intestines which leads to pain and poor eating. Children withhold poop for one of three main reasons.

They are afraid of the toilet or potty seat.

They had one painful poop and they resolve never to repeat the experience by trying to never poop again.

They are locked into a control issue with their parents. Recall the truism “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.” This applies to potty training as well.

Treatment for stool withholding is to QUIT potty training for at least a few weeks and to ADD as much stool softening foods and drinks as possible. Good-for-poop drinks and foods include prune juice, apple juice, pear juice, water, fiber-rich breads and cereals, beans, fresh fruits and vegetables. Sometimes, under the guidance of your child’s health care provider, medical stool softeners are needed until your child overcomes his fear of pooping and resolves his control issue. For more information about potty training we refer you to our post with podcast on this subject.

Our goal with this blog post was to highlight some frequently-asked-about poop topics and to reassure that most things come out okay in the end. And that’s the real scoop.

Julie Kardos, MD and Naline Lai, MD

©2014 Two Peds in a Pod®

modified from original 2009 post