A few days ago, I spoke with the faculty of a local early childhood education center about flu vaccine myths. See how you do on the true and false quiz I gave them:

I can tell when I am getting the flu and will leave work before I infect anyone.

False. According to the CDC (US Center for Disease Control), you are infectious the day before symptoms show up.

I never get the flu so it’s not necessary to get the vaccine. 

False. Saying I’ve never had the flu is like saying, “I’ve never a car accident so I won’t wear my seat belt.”

I hate shots. I hear I can get a flu vaccine in a different form.

True.  One flu vaccine, brand name Flu Mist, provides immunity when squirted in the nose. Non-pregnant, healthy people aged 2-49 years of age qualify for this type of vaccine.

I got the flu shot so I was healthy all year.

False. Perhaps it was the half-hour a day you added to your workout, or the surgical mask you wore to birthday parties, but your entirely healthy winter was not secondary just to the flu vaccine.  The United States flu vaccine protects against several strains of flu predicted to cause illness this winter. This year’s vaccine contain both seasonal and the 2009 H1N1 strains. Your body builds up a defense (immunity) only against the strains covered in the vaccine. Immunity will not be conferred to the thousands of other viruses which exist. On the other hand, the vaccine probably did protect you from some forms of the flu, and two fewer weeks of illness feels great.

My friend got the flu shot last year, therefore, she was sick all winter.

My condolences. True, your friend was sick. But the answer is False, because the illnesses were not caused by the flu vaccine.  Vaccines are not real germs, so you can’t “get” a disease from the vaccine. But to your body, vaccine proteins appear very similar to real germs and your immune system will respond by making protection against the fake vaccine germ. When the real germ comes along, pow, your body already has the protection to fend off the real disease. Please know, however, there is a chance that for a couple days after a vaccine, you will ache and have a mild fever. The reason? Your immune system is simply revving up. But no, the flu vaccine does not give you an illness.

I got the flu vaccine every year for the past decade. I will still need to get one this year.

True. Unfortunately, the flu strains change from year to year. Previous vaccines may not protect you against current germs.

I am a healthy adult and not at high risk for complications from the flu, so I will forgo the flu vaccine this year.

False. The flu vaccine is now recommended for everyone greater than 6 months of age. When supply is limited, targeted groups at risk for flu complications include all children aged 6 months–18 years, all persons aged ≥50 years, and persons with medical conditions that put them at risk for medical complications.   These persons, people living in their home, their close contacts, and their CARETAKERS are the focus of vaccination. 

Even if I get the flu, I’ll just wash my hands a lot to keep the germ from spreading. I have to come back to work because I don’t have much time off.

False, According to the American Academy of Pediatrics Report of the Committee on Infectious Diseases, the influenza virus can spread from an infected person for about a week after infection.

Yes, kids get sick from others kids, but as a parent who comes in contact with two children, an early childhood educator who comes in contact with ten children, an elementary school teacher who comes in contact with twenty children or a high school teacher who comes into contact with one-hundred children daily, you may end up the one who seeds your community with a potentially deadly illness.  Right now, flu vaccine clinics are as plentiful as Starbucks. Hit that CVS or Walgreens on the way home, wander into your doctor’s or grab a shot while you get groceries.  By protecting yourself from the flu, you protect the children you care for.

Naline Lai, MD with Julie Kardos, MD

© 2010 Two Peds in a Pod℠

Picture this: you are going back to work after a too-short maternity leave. Briefcase? Check. Lunch? Check. Breast pump? Check. Photo of your baby to put on your pump for inspiration? Check.

Many moms ask how to continue breastfeeding when they return to work. Because babies should receive breast milk or formula for at least their first year, here is how you can incorporate breastfeeding into your work routine:

Offer bottles by four weeks of age. Bottles can contain breast milk or formula, but you need to give your baby practice taking milk from a bottle by four weeks old. If you wait much longer, your baby will likely refuse the bottle. Have someone other than yourself give at least one bottle per day or every other day. In this way, your baby learns to accept nutrition from someone else.

Store breast milk using the simple and conservative “rule of twos.”  Leave breast milk in a bottle at room temperature for no more than two hours, store breast milk in the refrigerator for no more than two days, and store in the freezer for no more than two months. If your baby has already sucked out of a breast milk bottle, that milk is only good for up to two hours. Remember to write the date on your milk storage bags and use the oldest ones first.

Now select from the following breast feeding menu, understanding that you might start with option 2 or 3 and then change to option 4. The best option is the one that works best for you and your baby.

Option 1: Continue to breast feed at work. This option works for moms who work from home, moms who have child care in their work setting, and moms close enough to dash home to breast feed during the day or who have caregivers willing to drive babies over to work for feedings.

Advantage: no pumping, no buying formula, no bottle washing. Disadvantage: may require some creative scheduling.

Option 2: Breast feed when home and pump and store breast milk at work. Have child care givers offer stored breast milk in bottles. This method allows moms to provide exclusively breast milk to their babies. Start pumping after the first morning feeding (or any other feeding that you feel you produce a bit more than your baby needs for that particular feeding) beginning when your baby is around four weeks old. Also pump if your baby happens to sleep through a feeding. Store this milk in two or three ounce amounts in your freezer. You can obtain breast milk freezer bags from lactation consultants and baby stores, or you can store milk in zip lock bags.  As you continue to pump after the same feeding each day, your body will produce more milk at that feeding.

Once you have some breast milk stored and you are a few days out from returning to work, try pumping during the feedings you will miss while at work. Have someone else feed your baby breast milk bottles for these feedings. Finally, when you return to work, continue to pump at the same schedule and leave the stored breast milk for your child’s caregivers. Consider leaving some formula in case caregivers run out of breast milk. Remind them never to microwave the milk (this kills the antibodies in breast milk as well as creates a potential burn hazard) but rather to thaw the milk by placing in a hot water bath.

This method becomes easier as babies get older. Once babies start solid foods, they breast feed fewer times per day. Somewhere between six to nine months, your baby eats three solid food meals per day and breastfeeds four or five times per 24 hours. Thus, the number of times you need to pump decreases dramatically.

Advantage to this option: breast milk with its germ-fighting antibodies given through the first year and no expense of formula. Disadvantage: having to pump at work.

Option 3: Breast feed before and after work and give your baby formula while you are at work.  If you do not pump while at work, your body will not produce milk at these times. If you work full time, then on weekends you might find it easiest on your body to continue your “work time” feeding schedule. If you choose this method, wean your baby from daytime breast feeding over that last week or so before returning to work. Suddenly going a long time without draining your breasts can lead to engorgement, subsequent plugged ducts, and mastitis.

Advantage: baby continues to receive breast milk. No need to pump at work. Disadvantage: you still have to wash bottles and have the added cost of formula.

Option 4:  Breast feed until you return to work, then formula feed. Wean over the last week you are home with your baby to avoid engorgement and leaking while at work. Your baby still benefits from even a few weeks of breast milk.

Advantage: No need to incorporate pumping into your work schedule.  Baby still gets adequate nutrition. Disadvantage: babies who are in childcare and exposed to many germs miss out on receiving extra antibodies in breast milk. However, weaning your baby off breast milk will not cause illness. Do what works for your family. Also, more expensive to buy formula and time-consuming to wash bottles.

Pumping should not take longer than 15 minutes if you’re pumping both breasts at the same time and can take as short as 7-10 minutes. Remember to wash your hands before pumping.

What kind of breast pump should you buy/rent? If you are in it for the long haul, we recommend the higher-end electric double pumps with adjustable suction. Ask the hospital nurses, your midwife, or your obstetrician for names of people who rent or sell pumps in your area.

Finally, remember that the calorie count and nutritional content of breast milk and formula are the same. So do NOT feel guilty if pumping does not pan out and you and end up giving some formula. Your baby is almost always going to be more efficient than a breast pump and some breasts just don’t produce milk well during pumping sessions. In contrast, some of my patients never got the hang of breast feeding and their moms pumped breast milk and bottle fed them for the entire first year. Dr. Lai and I have each had patients who refused to take a bottle at childcare but just waited patiently for their moms to arrive. These babies got what they needed by nursing throughout the night. The babies didn’t mind what time of day they ate. Just like many aspects of parenting, sometimes with breast feeding, you just have to “go with the flow.”

Julie Kardos, MD with Naline Lai, MD
2010 Two Peds in a Pod®

My patient looked up at me.  “Do you want to see what I can do?” she asked.

Her father mockingly moaned, ”Oh, no.”

“Pleeease,” persisted the girl, “just once.”

The dad just laughed.

“Watch,” she said proudly as she suddenly rolled her eyeballs back and flipped her eyelids inside out with her fingers.

 
“Very impressive,” I told her, and snapped a photo.

__________________________ 

Voluntary eye movements like the one in the photo may be ugly to look at but are not damaging.  Nor will the child’s eyes be forever stuck in that position. On the other hand, any involuntary eye movement should be investigated. 

In particular, be vigilant for lazy eye (strabismus).  In this condition, the eyes are do not align correctly and drift. According to the most recent edition of Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics, lazy eye affects about four percent of children under six years of age and can manifest itself in infancy.

By two months old, your child’s eyes should be able to fix on your face and move together as she watches you. If you notice her eyes cross beyond this age, take her to her doctor. Lazy eyes tend to run in families. The child pictured immediately here has several relatives with lazy eyes. 

The cause of most lazy eye is unclear; however some cases are due to a defect in the pathways of the brain and nerves which control eye movement. Occasionally, some types are associated with other medical problems.

Detection of a lazy eye is important because a “lazy” eye can lose vision (amblyopia) from underuse. Treatment for most kids involves covering the good eye and forcing the lazy eye to “do more work” in order to prevent amblyopia. Ophthalmologists (eye surgeons) use techniques such as covering an eye with a patch, prescribing special glasses, or using eye drops to encourage the use of the lazy eye.  For some, surgery is needed to fully align the eyes. The earlier treatment starts, the more rapid the response.  Unfortunately, after a child is eight years old, treatment is much less effective.

Shortly after the girl showed me her eye rolling talent, a boy in the office showed me another intriguing trick.  By inhaling deeply, the boy sucked in one nostril until it flattened without pulling in the other one.  

Didn’t take a picture of that one.

Naline Lai, MD with Julie Kardos, MD

©2010 Two Peds in a Pod℠

A concerned parent wrote to us:

Eeew! Pictured is the raw chicken I left sitting out in a pot for a day (inadvertently, of course).  The putrid mess was teaming with germs and amongst them was probably salmonella. This bacteria is in the news because of the thousands of eggs recently recalled for contamination (Centers for Disease Control , New York Times, National Public Radio.)

Non-typhoidal Salmonella usually causes fever and crampy diarrhea.  This stomach bug mainly lurks in raw poultry, raw eggs, raw beef, and unpasturized dairy products. Luckily, salmonella does not jump up and attack humans. People are safe from disease as long as they do not eat salmonella-infested food.

In the case of my pot of rotten chicken, the obvious stench warned me that it was inedible.  However, salmonella often hides in food and it is difficult to tell what is or is not contaminated.  A perfectly fine looking egg may harbor the germ. Even before this outbreak, the Centers for Disease Control estimates in the United States as many as 1 in 50 people are exposed to a contaminated egg each year.

Luckily salmonella is killed by heat and bleach.  Even if an egg has salmonella, adequate cooking will destroy the bacteria. Gone are the days when parents can feed kids soft boiled eggs in a silver cup, have kids wipe up with toast the yolk from a sunny-side up egg, or add a raw egg to a milkshake.  Instead, cook your hardboiled eggs until the yolks are green and crumble, and tolerate a little crispness to your scrambled eggs.  Wash all utensils well. The disinfecting solution used in childcare centers of ¼ cup bleach to 1 gallon water works well to sanitize counters. Do not keep perishable food, even if it is cooked, out at room temperature for more than two hours.

A mom once called me frantic because her child had just happily eaten a half-cooked chicken nugget. What if this happens to your child? Don’t panic. Watch for symptoms — the onset of diarrhea from salmonella is usually between 12 to 36 hours after exposure but can occur up to three days later.  The diarrhea can last up to 5-7 days. If symptoms occur, the general recommendation is to ride it out. Prevent dehydration by giving plenty of fluids. My simple rule to prevent dehydration is that more must go in than comes out. 

According to the American Academy of Pediatric’s 2009 infectious diseases report, antibiotic treatment may be considered for unusually severe symptoms or if your child is at risk for overwhelming infection. People at high risk for overwhelming disease include infants younger than three months old and those with abnormal immune systems (cancer, HIV, Sickle Cell disease, kids taking daily steroids for other illnesses). Using antibiotics in a typical case of salmonella not only promotes general antibiotic resistance, but in fact does not shorten the time frame for the illness. Also, the medication can prolong how long your child carries the germ in his stool.

I ended up tying the chicken up, pot and all, in a plastic grocery bag and throwing out the whole mess.  Don’t tell my husband, he is the kind of guy who gets annoyed because I throw out germy sponges on a frequent basis. If he knew, he’d probably want me to at least keep the pot. Yuck.

Naline Lai, MD with Julie Kardos, MD

©2010 Two Peds in a Pod℠

Why do babies cry? This may seem like a silly question, but sometimes you really want to know why your infant is crying.

Remember, newborns cannot talk. They can’t even smile back at you until around six weeks of age.  Why do babies cry? In short, newborns cry to communicate.

Ah, but what is it, exactly, that they try to communicate? Babies cry when they…

      – Are tired.

      – Are hungry.

      – Feel too cold.

      – Feel too hot.

– Need to be changed –I never really believed this reason before I had my twins. My firstborn couldn’t have cared less if he was wet and could nap right through a really poopy diaper. Then I had my twins.  I was amazed that their crying stopped if I changed the tiniest bit of poop or a wet diaper. Go figure.

– Are bored. Perhaps she is tired of the Mozart you play and prefers some good hard rock music instead. Maybe she wants a car ride or a change of scenery. Try moving her to another room in the house.

– Feel pain. Search for a piece of hair wrapped around a finger or toe and make sure he isn’t out-growing the elastic wrist or ankle band on his clothing.

– Need to be swaddled. Remember a fetus spends the last trimester squished inside of her mom. Discovering her own randomly flailing arms and legs can be disconcerting to a newborn.

– Need to be UN-swaddled. Hey, some like the freedom to flail.

– Need to be rocked/moved. Dr. Lai’s firstborn spent hours tightly wrapped and held by her dad in a nearly upside down position nicknamed “upside-down-hotdog” while he paced all around the living room.

– Check to see if there is a burp stuck inside her belly. Lay her down for a minute and bring her up again to see if you can elicit a burp. 

– Does your baby seem gassy? Bicycle his legs while he is on his back. Position him over your shoulder so that his belly presses against you. You’d be gassy too if you couldn’t move very well. The gassy baby is a topic for an entire post- talk to your doctor for other ideas.

– Are sick. Watch for fever, inability to feed normally, labored breathing, diarrhea or vomiting. Check and see if anything is swollen or not moving. Listen to his cry. Is it thin, whimper-like (sick) or is it loud and strong (not sick)? Do not hesitate to check with your pediatrician. Fever in a baby younger than eight weeks old is considered 100.4 degrees F or higher measured rectally. A feverish newborn needs immediate medical attention.

What if you’re certain that the temperature in the room is moderate, you recently changed his diaper, and he ate less than an hour ago?

– Walk outside with your baby- this can be a magic “crying be gone” trick. Fresh air seems to improve a newborn’s mood.

– Offer a pacifier. Try many different shapes of pacifiers. Marinade a pacifier in breast milk or formula to increase the chance your baby will accept it.

– Pick her up, dance with her, or walk around the house with her. You can’t spoil a newborn.

– Try vacuuming. Weird, but it can work like a charm. Place her in a baby frontal backpack or in a sling while cleaning.

– Try another feeding, maybe she’s having a growth spurt.

-When all else fails, try putting her down in her crib in a darkened room. Crying can result from overstimulation. Wait a minute or two. She may self-settle and go to sleep. If not, go get her. The act of rescuing her may stop the wailing.

-If mommy or daddy is crying at this point, call your own mom or dad or call a close friend. Your baby knows your voice and maybe hearing you speak calmly to another adult will lull her into contentment.

– Call your child’s health care provider and review signs of illness.

– If you feel anger and resentment toward your crying baby, just put her down, walk outside and count to ten. It is impossible to think rationally when you are angry and you may hurt your child in order to stop your frustration. Seek counseling if these feelings continue.

Now for the light at the end of the newborn parenting tunnel: the peak age when babies cry is six weeks old. At that point, infants can cry for up to three hours per day. Babies with colic cry MORE than three hours per day. (Can you believe people actually studied this? I am amused that Dr. Lai won a prize in medical school for a paper on the history of colic). By three months of age crying time drops dramatically.

While most crying babies are healthy babies and just need to find the perfect upside-down-hot-dog position, an inability to soothe your baby can be a sign that she is sick. Never hesitate to call your baby’s health care provider if your baby is inconsolable, and don’t listen to the people who say, “Why do babies cry?…They just do.”

———

Thanks to our Facebook friends for other ideas for what the cartoon baby is saying:

“Stop looking at me like that and please loosen this blanket and don’t hold me up here like this and where is my hat my diaper is giving me a wedgie! JUST MAKE IT ALL STOP!”

“WHY CAN”T YOU LET ME GO BACK TO SLEEP, PEOPLE!”

———

Julie Kardos, MD with Naline Lai, MD

©2010 Two Peds in a Pod℠

Ok, so now you are in charge of caring for a newly circumcised penis. As a mom who’s never had a penis or as a dad who has no memory of his pre-circumcised days, you may have questions after you leave the hospital about how to care for this “wound.” 

Unlike most infants in the world, in the United States, most boys are circumcised. Parents choose to circumcise their sons for various reasons including medical and cultural beliefs. In this blog post I will not address any debates about circumcision. I will only address care of the recently circumcised penis.

It takes about one week for a circumcised penis to fully heal. This is not long in the scheme of things. While there are no absolute standards of circumcision care, most providers recommend putting a walnut size amount of either petroleum ointment or antibiotic ointment directly onto the head of the penis at every diaper change for the first 3 or 4 days. Some find it easier to dollop the ointment onto a gauze pad and then tuck the ointment covered pad into the diaper.

Be sure to clean any stool on the penis using mild soap and water. Some white, gray, or yellow material will accumulate on the head of the penis around the third or fourth day. This material, called granulation tissue, is a normal part of the healing process. (You may remember a similar healing process occured when you skinned your knee as a child). Go ahead and wash the goo with warm water, the secretions will disappear over the next few days.

Infection is rare, but does occur. Watch for an increase in swelling, an increase in redness, redness extending down the shaft of the penis, an increase in pain, pus discharge from the wound site, and fever of 100.4 F or higher. With any of these symptoms, take your child to be evaluated by your child’s health care provider.

Sometimes extra, or redundant, foreskin remains around the head of the penis. Over time, this extra tissue does retract back. Scar tissue rarely forms permanently because with each erection (yes, infants have erections) the head of the penis pulls away from the shaft. As the baby gets older, parents can gently pull back redundant skin with their hands when they give the baby a bath. If you are concerned about the appearance of your child’s penis, ask his health care provider to take a look.

One last tip: remember to point the penis DOWN when putting a new diaper on your son; otherwise he will urinate “up” through the diaper and all over his shirt. Trust me on this one.

Julie Kardos, MD and Naline Lai, MD
©2010 Two Peds in a Pod®

A mom once told me about a time when she left their toddler in the care of her husband who worked from home. 

“Are you sure you can concentrate on your work and watch him?” she asked quizzically.

“No problem,” he said reassuringly.

Hours later, the mom was delighted to come home to a quiet house. She found her husband busy working at his desk. Everything seemed calm. That is, until the mom glanced in the dining room and saw her toddler. Somehow he had scampered to the top of the table and now dangled from the chandelier.

A kid hanging from the chandelier is a parent’s baby proofing nightmare. Out there are an overwhelming number of baby proofing checklists and catalogs of safety devices.  But you don’t need to read reams on how to baby proof or spend a fortune on equipment. To baby proof, just roll back to 5^th grade and remember your prepositions… those little placement words such as “IN, OUT, ON and OVER.” Remember those words? Then you are ready to baby proof. Let’s go.

Drop DOWN on your hands and knees and look at your home from your child’s perspective. Start when your child is about six months old, before he can crawl. Because baby proofing is time consuming and it’s tough to take time out of your sleep deprived life, you need to start early, or you may not be done before your child is ready for high school.

Clear play areas of anything which may go IN your baby’s mouth and choke or poison him. Anything small enough to fit inside of a toilet paper tube is a potential choking hazard.  Don’t leave loose change lying around on a counter top. Lock caustic and poisonous substances UP and OUT of reach. Have the Poison Control Center’s phone number BY the phone in case of accidental ingestion (United States 1-800-222-1222).  The clinicians at the Center will instruct you whether or not to go to the emergency room. Do not induce vomiting because the emergency room has more effective ways to detoxify your child and if the ingested substance is caustic, vomit will cause a chemical burn both going DOWN and coming back UP.

Brain death can occur within five minutes of oxygen deprivation, so anything a child can pull OVER or AROUND his airway passages is hazardous.  Dangling drapery cords, plastic bags, crib bumpers, and loose crib sheets fall into this category. To avoid neck strangulation, bars ON cribs and on banisters should be less than 2 3/8 inches apart (the width of a soda can) to prevent a child from trapping his head between them.  Do not allow more than two fingerbreadths between the crib frame and the mattress.  

All standing water is a potential drowning hazard.  Even a large ice bucket at a party poses a risk. Several years ago, one of my neighbor’s children toddled up to an ice bucket at a party and right UNDER my nose flipped head first INTO the icy water.

What goes UP must come DOWN.  An unsteady kid who climbs UP the stairs may come tumbling DOWN.  Gate the top and the bottom of the stairs. Make sure to bolt the top gate into the wall. An angry toddler can break THROUGH any pressure secured gate. Walkers are also associated with an increased injury from falls DOWN steps. Since walkers do not actually teach your baby to walk any sooner than he would have anyway, just avoid them altogether.  

Look also INSIDE his crib.  Too much soft bedding (crib bumpers and large blankets) are not only suffocation risks but older babies can use the material as a step ladder and climb out.  Also ensure that your five month old cannot reach UP and pull the mobile OVER the crib down ON himself.

Outside the crib, your child can still fall DOWN, so cushion and move sharp edges (end tables) out of the way.  Not just children fall. Furniture which is UP may tumble DOWN ONTO a child’s head.  Make sure your excited child reaching for a dancing dinosaur does not pull the television DOWN.

Don’t allow children to get their hands ON a burn hazard. Secure electrical outlets and cords. Set the temperature of hot water to no more than 120 degrees and protect children from the stove and open heating units.

Beware of other people’s homes and hotels. Grandparents tend to leave pills within reach of little hands ON end tables or NEAR bathroom sinks.  Once when my family stayed AT a hotel, one of my children proudly showed me a pill she found ON the floor. “Look mommy at what I found,” she said and handed me a pill of Viagra!

Sooner or later children will need to identify potential hazards on their own. Help them understand what is safe. For instance, watch and teach your two year old to “bite then chew” a grape. Practice going UP and DOWN a few steps at a time and have her always hold the rail. 

Of course, nothing is a substitute for adult supervision. But not everything can be anticipated.  Sometimes you just have to cross your fingers. When my oldest was 15 months old, my husband was eating an open faced toasted bagel. My daughter toddled up, looked at daddy and scraped her forehead on the hard edge of the bagel.

Maybe we should just cushion children WITH pillows and keep helmets ON their heads until they go AWAY from home.

Naline Lai, MD with Julie Kardos, MD

© Two Peds in a Pod℠

Join us as we talk with moms from Building the Family, part of Child, Home and Community, a Pennsylvania based organization dedicated to empowering young parents.  We share with you a few tidbits on milk, daycare and thumb sucking – topics gathered from a podcast recording party held this summer. Here we are pictured with the fabulous moms and some of their children (listen carefully and you will hear the pitter-patter of little feet in the background).

Play the podcast here!

Naline Lai, MD and Julie Kardos, MD

©2010 Two Peds in a Pod℠

One year ago today we posted our first blog post Maiden Voyage and what an adventure it has been! In honor of Two Peds in a Pod’s first birthday we reprint Dr. Kardos’s post “Let ‘Em Eat Cake”:

After completing my pediatric training, I worked for a couple of years in a large pediatric office before I had any children of my own. I was always struck by the Life Event of a child’s first birthday. This milestone carries so much meaning and emotion for families. My patients’ parents described huge birthday parties with characters such as Elmo walking around or Moon Bounces, large catered affairs with numerous friends, family members, and entire neighborhoods. Often I would see a child sick in my office a few days before such an event with parents who were panicked that their child might be sick on his Big Day, or I would see a child for his one year well check and hear many details about the enormous party. Of course I also saw plenty of children a few days after their first birthday party who became ill, most likely, from a well-intentioned friend or relative who was already sick and passed the illness on to the birthday child at the party. I heard about the kids who clapped for the Happy Birthday song and kids who cried and one who vomited from excitement… all over the birthday cake. Many of my patients had their first full blown temper tantrum during their own over-stimulating first birthday party.

I remember not quite understanding why parents go through such effort and expense to throw a party that their child will never remember at a developmental stage where 99 percent of children are having stranger anxiety and separation anxiety. Well meaning famillies would often forgo daily routine to skip naps, eat at erratic times, and then expect their birthday child to perform in front of a large crowd singing loudly at them. “My husband and I will do it differently,” I would tell myself.

Now, three of my own children later, I must apologize for not quite understanding about that first birthday. I remember waking up on the day my oldest turned one year. My pediatrician brain first exclaimed “Hurray! No more SIDS risk!” Then my mommy brain took over, “Ohmygosh, I survived the first year of parenthood!” This day is about Celebration of the Parent. I finally understood completely why my patients’ parents needed all the hoopla.

Because I am actually a little uncomfortable in large crowds, my son’s first birthday party included all close relatives who lived nearby, people he was well familiarized with. Some pediatric tips I had picked up which I will pass on:

1)      Sing the Happy Birthday song, complete with clapping at the finale, for about one month straight leading up to the birthday. Children love music and hearing a very familiar song sung by a large group is not as overwhelming as hearing an unfamiliar song.

2)      Plan mealtime around your child, not the guests. If you are inviting people close to your heart, they will accommodate. Dinner can be at 5:00pm if that’s when your child usually eats, or have a lunch party that starts midmorning and then end the party in time to allow your child to have his regularly scheduled afternoon nap. Most one-year-olds are usually at their best in the morning anyway.

3)      If your child becomes sick, cancel the party. Your child will not be disappointed because he won’t understand what he is missing. You as parent would have a lousy time anyway because all of your attention will be on your ill child and you will be anxious. Your guests who are parents will appreciate your refraining from making them and their own children sick.

Recently while performing a one-year-old well check I asked about my patient’s birthday party and her parents told me “Oh, we didn’t have a party. It was like any other day, although we did give her a cupcake for dessert.”

Now THIS is a pragmatic approach to parenting because, again, no child will ever have memories of her own first birthday. However, I hope the parents did take time, at least with each other, to congratulate themselves and to feel really good about making it to that huge milestone in their parenting career. I hope they savored their accomplishment as much as their child savored the cupcake.

_____________________________

How far we’ve come, and it is all thanks to you. We’ve watched with excitement as our readership climbed from two hits (from our husbands) to almost 20,000 hits. Two Peds in a Pod now has email and Facebook subscribers. You can find us through directories such as Technorati and iTunes and recently, Two Peds expanded to the West Coast of the United States with a bimonthly column in Family Magazine Group. Some of our Face book friends hail from Canada and we consistently receive hits from the United Kingdom. Looks like our goal to impact one million kids around the world may not be a far-fetched dream.

Our greatest reward is when people say to us, “That blog post was so helpful.” We are thrilled to reach out to many families.

While our main podcast recording studio continues to be our kitchen table, we also recorded with one mom’s group in their living room and another parenting group in a child care center.  From focus group back out to cyperspace!

We still depend on you to tell other families about our site. Our sources of inspiration continue to be our patients, your children and our own clans. Please keep those topic suggestions coming! As working pediatricians and parents like you, we want to continue to be your reliable (and sometimes amusing) source of sound pediatric information.

Thank you for reading, listening, commenting and letting your friends know about Two Peds in a Pod. Let the adventure continue!

Sincerely,
Julie Kardos, MD and Naline Lai, MD
©2010 Two Peds in a Pod℠