“Because I said so?” – getting your kids to listen
While many good books have been written on the subject of how to get your kids to listen to you, today we boil this topic down to a few key sticky points. The goal is to make sure your child hears, “Please clean your room,” as well as,“Let’s go get ice cream.” Here are ways to make requests which yield results: A special note about bribes and threats: By three years old, most kids understand bribes and threats. Sounds terrible, doesn’t it? However, both can be useful when used sparingly. For example, you could offer to take your child out for ice cream, or a bike ride, or a special event, in exchange for cleaning his particularly horrendously messy room. But bribes used too often create a kid who expects to get “paid” for performing reasonable and customary personal and household tasks. Likewise, threatening a negative consequence must also be used sparingly or else you will end up with a resentful child who will have even more motivation to not listen to you. Remember to take away “extras” rather than essentials. For example, failing to listen may result in losing a finite amount of TV/videogame time. Do NOT threaten to take away eating dinner, reading with your child before bedtime or going to her best friend’s birthday party. Remember to follow through on the consequence immediately. Giving empty threats or putting off threats put you into the “nag” category. Most importantly, during any ice cream outing, bike ride, or special trip to the park, regardless if it was a planned event or a bribe, flip the table and take the time to listen to what your child has to say. Julie Kardos, MD and Naline Lai, MD Special thanks for input from Kim Ross. A first grade teacher for the past 19 years, Mrs. Ross holds a Bachlor’s degree in Early Childhood Elementary education and a Masters degree in Educational Psychology, both from Temple University. Mom of two, she also is a Certified Parenting Educator. ©2011 Two Peds in a Pod®