Top Ten Skills You Acquire as a Mother

As Mother’s Day approaches, we give you our first Two Peds in a Pod “Top Ten List.”

Top Ten Skills You Acquire as a Mother

10) Not being completely grossed out by another person’s poop.

9) Ability to sense the “moment before the vomit” and to hustle your child to the nearest garbage can or toilet before it’s too late.

8) Ability to lick your own finger and then use it to clean a smudge completely off your child’s face.

7) Ability to get through a day (after day after day) after one (or many) completely interrupted night’s sleep.

6) Willingness to show up at work or just go out in public with dried spit-up on your shoulder.

5) Ability to use your “momometer” by touching or kissing your child’s forehead to tell if he has a fever (with fair degree of accuracy!).

4) Ability to see through walls in order to tell that your child did not wash his hands after using the bathroom.

3) Ability to see directly behind you to know that your child is getting into trouble.

2) Ability to wield the Magic Kiss that can make any and all boo-boos better.

1) Ability to love more than you ever thought possible, and the ability (finally) to understand just how much your mother loves you.

Rejoice in your abilities!

Happy Mother’s Day from Two Peds in a Pod.

Julie Kardos, MD and Naline Lai, MD
©2010 Two Peds in a Pod

Books for Helping Children Through Bereavement

Our guest blogger today is Mrs. Beverly Keegan, Librarian at Millcreek Elementry School, Bucks County Pennsylvania . A teacher for over thirteen years and a school librarian for the past nine years, Mrs. Keegan suggests books which may help a grieving child. She writes:

The loss of a loved one is difficult for anyone, but it can be especially confusing for young people. There are many ways to help children better understand death, but perhaps the least threatening approach is to expose them to a character feeling their same emotions in a fictional book. Reading a book either independently or together can be a good way to start a conversation about tough feelings. Below, I have created a list of books that might be helpful for various types of grief. I tried to choose more titles that would be most likely found in a school or library setting.

Loss of a Pet:
Cat Heaven or Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant (all ages): Beautiful verse and vibrant illustrations highlight the possible afterlife of both of our most beloved animal friends.

I’ll Always Love You by Hans Wilhelm (grades K-2): A boy loses his longtime companion in this beautiful picture book.

The 10^th Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst (all ages): A tender picture book that deals with the loss of the main character’s cat.

Loss of a Mother or Loss of a Teacher:
Remembering Mrs. Rossi by Amy Hest (grades 3-6): Annie deals with the sudden death of her mother, who was also a popular 6^th grade teacher.

Loss of a Parent:

Everett Anderson’s Goodbye (grades K-3) by Lucille Clifton: A boy struggles with the death of his father.

The Memory String (grades 2-4) by Eve Bunting: A girl grieves for her mother while trying to accept a new stepmother. She remembers her mom by counting a string of memory beads.

Loss of a Friend:
If Nathan Were Here (grades 1-3) by Mary Bahr: A young boy deals with the loss of his best friend. It is simple, yet poignant.

Water Bugs and Dragonflies (grades 1-3): a simple animal fable about loss.

Loss of a Sibling:
Kira-Kira (grades 5 and up)—This Newbery Award winner tackles the tough subject of a sister who becomes terminally ill. As her illness worsens, Katie does her best to remember Lynn’s “kira-kira,” which means her bright, shining ways.

Getting Near to Baby (grades 4 and up): In this Newbery medal winner, two sisters move into their aunt’s house. As, the story unfolds, the reader discovers that their infant sister has died. The book deals with the girls’ confusion about their mother’s feelings and their own sense of loss.

Loss of a Relative:
Missing May (grades 4 and up): In this Newbery Award winner, Summer loses her Aunt May. It is a story of how to start to live again after a sharp loss.

Each Little Bird That Sings (grades 4 and up): The main character is used to death, as her family owns the town funeral parlor. However, when her own dear uncle dies, she gets a whole new perspective on sorrow.

For adults and children:
Tear Soup: A parable about a woman who has lost an unnamed loved one. She mixes up a batch of tear soup, made of memories and experiences. This beautiful book could be applied to many different types of grief.

Mrs. Keegan has her own blog and website at www1.cbsd.org/schools/millcreek/library
©2010 Two Peds in a Pod

AH-CHOO! Coping with seasonal allergies

It’s only 3 p.m. on a Saturday and one of my children is in the shower for the second time today washing off the pollen which has turned her face into a puffy, slimy raspberry. It’s that beautiful time of year when the blooming flowers trigger allergic symptoms such as runny noses and red itchy eyes.

In addition to washing pollen off your child’s body, you can make some changes in your child’s environment to help decrease allergic reactions to the “great” outdoors. For one, turn on the air conditioner and close the windows to limit the outdoors from entering your child’s bedroom. Also, have your child wash her hands as soon as she comes in from playing outside to decrease the chances of her rubbing allergens into her eyes and nose.

Many kinds of medications can help allergy symptoms. The most commonly used oral medications are the antihistamines. These medicines work by limiting the “histamines” your body makes in response to allergies. Histamine causes itchy skin, red eyes, and runny noses. Examples of antihistamines are diphenhydramine (brand name Benedryl), loratadine (brand name Claritin), cetirizine (brand name Zyrtec) and fexofenadine (brand name Allegra). The most common side effect of antihistamines is drowsiness, especially with older antihistamines such as diphenhydramine. Most antihistimines are now available over the counter.

Allergy eye drops and nose sprays act topically on the eyes or nose to combat allergy symptoms. Some prescription nose sprays contain topical steroids or antihistamines. Eye drops may contain antihistamines or mast cell stabilizers (more cells which cause allergy symptoms!).

Another allergy medicine heavily advertised is Singulair. This medicine is a leukotriene inhibitor which prevents the body from releasing another type of substance (leukotrienes) that causes allergy symptoms.

Decongestants such as phenylephrine or pseudoephedrine can help decrease nasal stuffiness. This is the “D” in “Claritin D” or “Allegra D.” However, they are discouraged in young children because of potential side effects such as rapid heart rate, increased blood pressure, and sleep disturbances.

Some of the above mentioned medicines can be taken together and SOME CAN NOT. Parents may inadvertently give more than one oral antihistamine simultaneously. Read the labels carefully for the active ingredients and do NOT give more than one oral antihistamine at a time. In contrast, most antihistamine eye drops and nose sprays can be given together with oral antihistamines.

Please consult your child’s health care provider to determine which allergy medications will best help your child this allergy season. A carefully thought out allergy plan can go a long way to helping your child’s allergy symptoms.

Sure beats taking five showers a day or having your nose removed for allergy season!

Naline Lai MD and Julie Kardos, MD

Hand Held Health Hazards: your kids and their devices

This spotted the other day- tendonitis. In plain English, wrist pain at the base of the thumb from the strain of playing too much Nintendo DS/iPod touch or texting on your phone with your thumbs.

Imagine what the iPad will bring.

Naline Lai, MD 2010

© Two Peds in a Pod

Subduing stress: relaxation techniques

As the school year comes barreling to an end, I always find an assortment of students parading through my office with stress related ailments. Struggling to keep up in class can be extremely stressful for a child. Whether the child is college aged or elementary school aged, concerned parents want to know how to prevent their child from internalizing stress. Today, psychologist Dr. Sandy Barbo provides us with relaxation techniques to deflect tension. The mom of two college-aged daughters, Dr. Barbo has worked with children and their families for over twenty years. – Dr. Lai

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Hurry, hurry, hurry!!! Off to soccer practice, or the orthodontist’s office, or swim class, or a scout meeting, or a violin lesson. Don’t forget homework, that spelling test… oh no! Wasn’t there a special poster project due soon? Quick, run into Staples to get that poster board. Oh, and yes, we can’t forget to grab some take-out because with all the rush, who had time to make dinner?

Sound familiar? We tend to live very busy lives these days and our children’s schedules reflect that in all the many activities they engage in. Even our youngest and smallest have schedules!

Busy-ness can lead to stress, but so can a host of other experiences our children live through day to day. Our kids have to juggle performance in school (getting assignments done, managing academic and extracurricular challenges), survival in social groups (peer pressure,bullying, overcoming shyness), and even the occasional external stress that filters down from the adult world (news of a disaster, parental job stress, illness in an extended family member).

How do we as parents help inoculate our kids so they can better manage the various stresses and anxieties that come their way? There are many possibilities. Here are a few:

One of the easiest and most effective stress busting strategies you can teach your child (and yourself!) has to do with the deep, diaphragmatic breath. Lie down on the floor with your child or sit upright in a comfortable chair. The trick is to align the chest above the pelvis. Make a diamond shape with your thumbs and index fingers.Show your child how to position the belly button in the middle of the diamond. Now instruct her to slowly take in a deep, filling breath so that the belly starts to raise her hands up as far as they can go. Slowly, exhale and allow the belly to sink back down. When empty, fill up again slowly, but comfortably. For some kids, it helps them to imagine they are filling a balloon with their breath and then letting it all out. When you’ve completed 3 belly breaths you’ve created a “mini”. And “minis” are wonderful as they can be done almost anywhere, anytime, incognito! Remind your child on the way to school, “Let’s do a mini”; or before going into an anxiety provoking situation; or even at the end of the day, in bed to help settle everyone down. The deep breath counters our body’s response to stress and is incompatible with anxiety which provokes shallow chest breathing. Try modeling “minis” for your child and encourage him to practice them at least 3 times each day. When you teach your child how to do “minis”, he’s learned a powerful stress buster that he can put to use whenever or wherever the need arises.

Don’t forget the good old fashioned belly laugh. We know that humor helps us reframe and relieve stress, but the deep belly laugh is also diaphragmatic and forges a healthy mind/body connection. Don’t be bashful. Suggest a tickle fest. Have a book of age-appropriate jokes around that you can share with your kids. Belly laughs are infectious. It almost doesn’t matter what silly idea starts them. Show your kids that the sillies can get the better of you too and laugh all of yourselves to the point of exhaustion.

We tend to hold our tension in our “stress triangle”the area between the shoulders and up towards the neck. Show your kid show to gently press their shoulders up towards their ears, then roll them back and relax along with those wonderful deep breaths they’ve already learned. Also, indulge in massage. Rub between your child’s shoulders. At bedtime, offer a foot massage.

Another helpful de-stressor at bedtime can be a guided imagery exercise. You become your child’s guide. Help her create her imaginary safe, relaxed place by engaging all of the senses. Pick, or have your child pick, her favorite vacation setting. Beach? Be ready to customize your guided tour to her most wonderful fantasies. Have her close her eyes, start deep breaths and use her imagination to picture herself stepping down a series of 10 steps into the setting as you slowly and in your most soothing voice count. For example:

1. You’re at the top of a set of stairs that go down the dunes to the beach. You see the beautiful beach below you.Imagine what you see. Imagine the colors all around you. (Deep breath)

2. You can see the wonderful beach scene before you,the boats on the water, the few wispy clouds in the beautiful blue sky, the gulls that fly over the water. (Deep breath)

3. You can feel the sun on your skin. It’s deliciously warm. (Deep breath)

4. A cool breeze, just the right temperature is gently blowing through your hair. (Deep breath)

5. You can hear the sound of the waves lapping at the shore. The sun is sparkling off the water. Imagine the other sounds you hear on the beach. (Deep breath)

6. You can smell all those wonderful beach smells, the sunscreen, the wet sand. You can almost taste the salty ocean water droplets as they reach your lips. (Deep breath)

7. You feel your toes in the sand. It is just the right warm temperature, soft and comfortable under your feet. (Deep breath)

8. You are at the water now. Just let your toes wiggle and feel the wonderful temperature of the water. As you wriggle your toes you can see the sea foam and the sand make wonderful patterns between your toes. (Deep breath)

9. All around you are the people you love. (Deep breath)

10. You lie down on the beach feeling so relaxed and comfortable, just resting and enjoying the wonderful sounds, smells, feelings,tastes, views of the beach. You are restful and relaxed. You are breathing deep steady breaths. Enjoy this feeling of relaxation in this safe, warm, wonderful place. In a minute, when you are ready, you can gently open your eyes or allow yourself to drift off to sleep.

The above mentioned guided imagery exercise can become a beloved ritual. My daughter’s favorite involved a meadow with a family of unicorns. Each night, I learned to tap all my creative resources to keep the characters on interesting adventures in the meadow all the while engaging my daughter’s sensory system within her fantastic imagination, as she continued to deep breathe and leave the stressors of her day behind.

Invite your kids to share when they’ve used their stress busters during the day. Model for them how to take a “mini” to manage some aggravation that comes your way. With just a little bit of practice, your child can start to use these stress-busting strategies, when challenged, to reestablish a sense of calm. It’s truly a gift that keeps on giving over and over again.

Sandy Barbo, Ph.D.

Dr. Barbo is a licensed psychologist and the mom of two college-aged daughters. She has been working with children, parents and families for over 20 years. In addition to providing psychotherapy for anxiety, depression, trauma, Dr. Barbo has developed sub-specialties in infertility, pre and post-adoption, and ADHD. Contact her at: drsandybarbo@comcast.net or P.O. Box 196, New Hope, PA 18938 telephone (215)297-5092

Managing Munchies: More healthy weight ideas

Most of us, including me, are not always health food angels. However, a family who is a regular customer at a fast food restaurant may simply not know how to break the habit. For those who still need to get those healthy eating New Year’s resolutions rolling, our February podcast, “Helping the Overweight Child,” gave the 5-4-3-2-1-0 rules for healthy eating. This post gives more hints:

BMI, or Body Mass Index (weight in kg divided by height in meters squared) is a number which indicates whether your child’s weight is normal for his or her height and age. Normal weight school aged kids DO look a bit scrawny.Children’s bellies should NOT hang over their pants. On the other hand, normal weight toddlers do look a bit pudgy. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a nice BMI calculator.

Snacks aren’t needed at sports games which last only an hour. Supply water bottles and forget the snack.

Don’t feed your younger child snacks to keep him occupied during an older sibling’s event. Bring books, paper and crayons, a doll, or a matchbox car instead.

Make a stack of peanut butter and jelly or cheese sandwiches and keep them wrapped, ready to go, in the fridge. Keep some washed apple slices or carrot sticks along side the sandwiches and this stash can be your “fast food” at those times you need to feed your family “on the run”.

Don’t give your children a junky snack in order to carry them over until dinner. If your kids come home from school STARVING!!, give them a REAL dinner, and then give them a fruit or vegetable when the entire family later sits down.

holiday is one day, Halloween is October 31^st. ^.Why eat the candy for days and weeks afterwards?

Don’t keep junk food in your home. This will avoid arguments about what to eat.

Have your children ask you if they can have something to eat, rather than allowing “free access” to your pantry/refrigerator. That allows you decide if it is too close to mealtime to have a snack (remember from the Picky Eaters blog post,“hunger is the best sauce”) and will allow you to choose an appropriate snack and portion size. If kids inherently knew healthy choices and portion sizes, they wouldn’t need parents! Also this allows you to determine if the child is truly hungry, bored, or attention seeking.

Now back to the the fast food establishment I find myself in with my family. “Maybe this restaurant chain should offer a Two Peds in a Pod kid’s lunch box,” I mused as my family finished up their greasy, salty meal. Everyone’s curiosity was piqued. My husband and I began to hypothesize what kind of food would be inside a Two Peds box.

“What do you think?” I asked the kids.

“We’re actually more interested in what kind of prize would you would offer,” they said.

Gotta love my regular customers.

Naline Lai, MD and Julie Kardos, MD

Making Sense of Ear Pain

“Help, help, my EAR HURTS!!!”

I admit to having no statistics on this observation, but as a pediatrician and a mom, I have observed that ear infections strike disproportionately on Friday nights. Have you observed this as well?

I wish children had some kind of external ear indicator that would flash “infection” or “not an ear infection” when they have middle of the night attacks of pain. Unfortunately, most people can not diagnose their child in the middle of the night. Even I can’t diagnose my own children at home because my portable otoscope, the instrument used to examine ears, died from overuse a year ago. However, there are ways to treat ear pain no matter what the cause.

Of course we all want to know the cause of our children’s pain. However, there is no danger in treating pain while we investigate the cause, or until daytime comes and pediatricians open their offices. Good pain relievers such as acetaminophen (brand name Tylenol) or ibuprofen (brand names Advil and Motrin), given at correct doses, will treat pain from any source. Treating pain does not “mask” any physical exam findings so go ahead and ease your child’s misery before going to your child’s health care provider. I feel bad for my young patients whose parents tell me, “We didn’t give him any pain medicine because we wanted you to see how much his ear is hurting him.”

Heat in the form of warm wet compresses or a heating pad will also help. Prop your child upright. If the pain is from an ear infection, the position will relieve pressure. Distraction such as a 2:00 am Elmo episode will also blunt pain.

blog post) is treated differently than a middle ear “inside” infection. Nearby body parts can also produce pain. Throat infections (pharyngitis), from strep throat (see strep throat posts) or viruses, often cause pain in the ears. Even pain from jaw joint strain and dental issues can show up as ear pain. Over the years I have sent several children straight from my office to the dentist’s office for treatment of tooth ailments masquerading as ear pain.

No article on ear pain would be complete without addressing“ear tugging.” Many babies by nine months of age discover their ears and then play with them simply because they stick out (I will leave to your imagination what boy babies tug on). Babies often tug on ears when they are tired. Therefore, tugging on ears alone may not indicate an ear infection, especially if not coupled with other symptoms.

Although ear infections are one of the most common ailments of childhood and most children have at least one ear infection by age three, remember that not all ear pain is caused by ear infections. In the middle of the night, and even in the middle of the day, it IS okay to give some pain relief before seeing your child’s health care provider.

Why ear pain always seems to awaken a child in the middle of the night, I’ll never know. All I know is that I have to remember to buy a new otoscope for home.

Child (or anyone) abduction prevention tips

In order to distinguish between a real police officer and an impostor, tell your child that if he is confronted by someone who claims to be a police officer, have him tell the officer to call for another one. Real officers rarely work without a partner.

Here is state by state information about Megan’s Law. http://www.state.nj.us/njsp/info/reg_sexoffend.html

Traveling With Children

As I pack for an upcoming family vacation, I am reminded of the numerous questions over the years that parents have asked me about traveling with children. Often they ask, what is the best way to travel that will allow everyone to enjoy the vacation?

Ha,ha, I think to myself. The real answer is to hire a sitter or enlist grandparents to babysit and leave the kids at home. My husband and I always refer to family vacations as “family displacements.”

No, really, family vacations are wonderful experiences as long as you hold realistic expectations. First you have to get there.

Easier said than done.

When traveling by air, parents wonder if they should bring a car seat for the plane. Young children who sit in a car seat in the car should sit in a car seat in an airplane. Unfortunately, not all car seats fit into the airplane seat properly. The best advice I can give is to bring your car seat and make an attempt to fit it properly. If it doesn’t fit properly, you will still need it for the car ride from the airport after you arrive at your destination. Not all car rental facilities provide car seats.

Another question I am frequently asked about long plane rides is “Should I give my child Benadryl (diphenhydramine) so he/she will sleep through the flight?” Unfortunately, Benadryl’s reliability as a sleep aid is spotty at best. Most kids get sleepy, but the excitement of an airplane ride mixed in with a “drugged” feeling can result in an ornery, irritable child who is difficult to console. I advise against this practice. On the other hand, Benadryl can help motion sickness and is shorter acting than other motion sickness medications.

Ear pain during an airplane’s descent is also a common worry. Yes, it is true that ears tend to “pop” during the landing as the air pressure changes with altitude. Some young children (and their parents) find this sensation very unpleasant. However, most babies are lulled to sleep by the noise and vibration of an airplane and are unaffected. If your child is safely in a car seat, I do not advise taking him out of it to breastfeed during landing. Offer a pacifier if you feel he needs to suck/swallow during the landing, and offer an older child a snack so she can swallow and equalize ear pressure if she seems uncomfortable during the landing.

Speaking of food, try to carry healthy snacks rather than junk food when traveling. Staying away from excessively salty or sweet food will cut down on thirst. Also, keep feeding times similar to home schedules in order to prevent toddler meltdowns.

Remember that young children hate to wait for ANYTHING and that includes getting to your destination. Bring along distractions that are simple and can be used in multiple ways. For example, paper and crayons or pencils can be used for: coloring, drawing, word games, origami, tic-tac-toe, math games, etc.

When traveling internationally, check the Center for Disease Control website www.cdc.gov for the latest health advisories for your travel destination. Do your research several weeks in advance because some recommended vaccines are available only through travel clinics. Also, some forms of malaria prevention medicine need to be started a week prior to travel.

Please refer to our “Happy, Healthy Holiday” blog post from 12/10/2009 for further information about keeping kids on more even keel during vacations. In general, attempt to keep eating and sleeping routines as similar to home as possible. Also remember to wash hands often to prevent illness during travel. Finally, locate a pediatrician or child friendly hospital ahead of time in case illness does strike. Unfortunately, most illnesses cannot be diagnosed by your child’s health care provider over the phone.

While traveling with young children can seem daunting, the memories you create for them are well worth the effort. And it DOES get easier as the kids get older. Now I can laugh at the image of my husband with two car seats slung over his back lugging a large diaper bag and a carry-on, leading my preschooler struggling with his own backpack filled with snacks and air plane distractions, while I am balancing two non-walking twin babies, one in each arm, as we all take our shoes off for the airplane security checkpoint.

We’ve come a long way, and so can you. Happy Travels!

Do Vaccines Cause Autism?

Do vaccines cause autism?

Concerned parents ask me this question, and I am relieved to be able to tell them “NO.”

Amazingly, most of the autism/vaccine hoopla can be traced to one very small report.

In 1998 a doctor named Andrew Wakefield published a paper in a well respected British medical journal called The Lancet. He said that in his study of twelve children who were patients in a GI (Gastroenterology) clinic, eight of them had evidence of abnormal intestines and abnormal behavior that began after they received the MMR vaccine. He wondered if the combined MMR vaccine may have triggered abnormalities in the gut, allowing unspecified toxins to leak out from the gut, causing brain damage.

Unfortunately, this one small paper involving 12 children caused huge controversy about the safety of vaccines. Many parents lost confidence in the very vaccines that were so successful at protecting the lives of their children. They stopped vaccinating and caused the measles rate to increase. For evidence of this please see:

http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5733al.htm

http://www.parliament.uk/commons/lib/research/briefings/snsg-02581.pdf.

On February 6, 2010, The Lancet published a retraction of this paper because the study design was flawed and thus any conclusions cannot be reliable. Specifically, the UK General Medical Council’s Fitness to Practise Panel, after investigations, concluded that the children in the study were not “consecutively referred,” meaning that they were not “random samples” as stated in the paper.

In addition, the panel discovered that Dr. Wakefield did not have permission from any institutional review board (panels that review the ethics of research done on people) to perform the lumbar punctures, MRIs, EEGs, endoscopies, and intestinal biopsies that he conducted on the children whom he studied.

Despite the original study being flawed, a question about a connection between MMR and autism had been raised. In the years since 1998, scientists performed subsequent studies to see if the MMR vaccine might have a link to autism. No association was found. These studies involved thousands of children and showed that the rate of autism in vaccinated children is THE SAME as the rate of autism in unvaccinated children. To read these articles as well as the original article that caused the controversy, you can go to www.TheLancet.com and register to view the articles for free.

I urge all parents reading this blog post to speak with your child’s health care provider if you have ANY doubts about vaccinating your children. In addition, if you are going to conduct your own research on this subject on the Internet, I urge you to consult the following credible sites:

www.aap.org, www.cdc.gov, www.vaccine.chop.edu, www.webmd.com, www.mayoclinic.com

Vaccines save lives. Unfortunately, for those too young to be vaccinated, those who have immune system diseases, and those who do not receive immunizations, vaccine preventable diseases still can potentially cause severe illness and death.

Julie Kardos, MD with Naline Lai, MD
© 2010 Two Peds in a Pod

January 10, 2011: The above links to the CDC and UK parliament are down. For more information on trends in measles rate, please see http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7872541.stm.